Signs of Online Dating Scams & Online Dating Investigations

By Joe Waters (Private Investigator)— Eleos Investigations

Finding that special one has certainly adapted over time. More and more couples I know have met online, but this has just added another dynamic on how people can meet. Online dating seems to have become a popular option amongst many for varying reasons. Some work shifts and struggle to find the time to go out and meet people. Some don’t want to mix work with pleasure. Others just can never seem to find the right person when out and about (or out out!). Sound familiar? This may seem all too familiar especially in the midst of a pandemic and during a lockdown, being unable to meet people organically seems to become a thing of the past. At least for now, anyway.

With online dating, one needs to understand precaution is key. How do we know the person we are talking to is legitimate? Are their intentions good? Do they actually want the same things as you?

Two articles by the BBC have recently been released detailing the horrors some go through with online dating. In these particular stories, two unsuspecting women gave thousands of pounds to someone they were convinced was their next Prince Charming. Both had been chatting with them over messages and talking over the phone for months and felt that love was in the air. They had so much in common it seemed too good to be true! They were on cloud nine all day, every day. They felt lucky to be able to find a new partner in crime again.

I could continue with my cliches. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right? Unfortunately, when it came to meeting, problems would arise resulting in the ‘man’ unable to meet face to face. These problems would require money to help bring them closer. They were told this is the only way they could be together, finally, and these poor women, with their kind hearts, would do anything for their new significant other. Money would be transferred and lost forever, along with the ‘guy’. So, what happened? UK Police call this a ‘romance scam’ and unfortunately, they are far more common than they need to be.

This may seem scary and may put you off online dating, but there are things we can do and signs we can look out for to prevent this from ever happening.

Signs to look out for

Their profile appears too good to be true

When I was a boy, my mum would say to me if things are too good to be true, they usually are. I didn’t listen to her advice and I fell for this exact situation when I was 17. At this time, online dating was relatively new. Their profile certainly looked too good to be true, looking like a model straight out of Vogue but love is blind and I fell for it. We chatted for months, to then find out they were not the person they said they were and I felt like a fool. To make this clear, I am an ex-police officer and now private investigator, and I fell for this, so I promise, you can too. Whether they look like a model, have an amazing job, are wealthy and charitable, these are warning signs to look out for!

Avoidance

It’s a good idea to try and chat over the phone early on. The majority of dating apps now have a feature to make a call within the chat, so you don’t need to give out your number. If they are reluctant to talk on the phone or to meet up in person, this could be a warning sign.

Make sure you are very careful about giving out your number! When I was a police officer, if I had a pound for every time someone reported harassment from giving out their number to someone online, I would be sat on a beach in the Caribbean typing up this blog.

They appear to be out of the country

A frequent online dating scam is that the individual appears to be either stuck abroad or on a business trip, with a lack of funds to return home or unable to access their bank account. After building up trust, they ask for money. I think you can all guess what happens next…Love can be blind, and you won’t see your money again either.

They ask many questions

Do they seem to be asking an excessive amount of questions? Do they want to know the name of your pet cat? Or where you went to primary school? I’m afraid that this is a common way to gain information about you so they can steal your identity or hack your accounts. Do not give away too much information!

They get serious, way too soon

Do they fall head over heels for you before even meeting you? Do they feel like the connection between you both is something special? Do they want to live happily ever after, with 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a cat? If you haven’t met them yet, do not fall for this as often, scammers will try and gain your trust, which is when you can make mistakes.

Are they experiencing a tragedy?

A common tactic used is to make you feel sorry for them, by telling you they have either lost someone recently or that someone they love is seriously ill. They then ask for money and because you want to help and they seem so genuine, you send the money, never seeing it again. You can either block them or send them grapes via second class post.

Things they say do not add up

Are you confused with what they are saying? Are they forgetting things you have already spoken about? This is a big warning sign and stay well clear! Scammers often work as part of a group and you are probably speaking to someone completely different.

If after reading this, you are still concerned and want to know for sure, then contact us here at Eleos Investigations and we will find out for you! Hopefully, they are the person of your dreams as that is the outcome we want for you, but if they are not, maybe we will be posting grapes second class to them for you.